Its so long since i updated. I guess my blog died so long ago that no one would remember, which is the whole point.
Many things have come and gone, some good some bad. Some that i wished i had cherished much more when i had it. Cos no matter how hard i wish now, it will not ever be back i guess. In front of others, its best to be happy, esp my friends as i dun wan them to worry for me, and even if i have told them what could it do? just add on top to what they have already worried about.
I read sop's blog yesterday, she talked about the bottle of happiness that she wanted to give all of us. Everytime i see a friend upset, thats what i wish i could do to, tell them be happy, and they would be. But happiness just comes so hard. Maybe the only time we will be happy are the times when we are young and crawling, and memory from it is all but a blur now. And for me, besides the baby times, theres also the time when i was in primary one and the time around nineteen months ago. Those were the moments i really felt truly happy. The kind of feeling that just bubble through my whole being and its so overwhelming i seem to forget the world around me.
i am really grateful to each and every of my friends around me, esp my darling chics, who will be always there. Despite the harsh tones, they are really just showing their concern. I hope we will always be there for each other.
For some who are on the breaking point, i hope i can be there for you, even though my help to solve ur problem is minimal, i just wanna let you know that im here for you. Cos i know some things, only the people involved in it are able to settle, and i cant do much..
I thank you for the happy times you have given me, and truly, its the small thoughtful things that touched me most. That till now i still remember and smile at the small sweetness of it.
I have matured from the way things changed, from the way you changed, and as i learn more, i realised i dislike the reality we live in.
Maybe it so much better to be deceived.
To live in a decieved world.
Maybe the past past months, i have been living in your deceived world, thats why im so happy.
And when i peel off the facade..
Its felt so painful when i fell down, and even worse when i hid it all behind a smile.
I want to go back being a child. This world is too harsh, for all of us.
我的快乐，会回来的。。。
